Wannabe Craft Freak

I am in a really crafty mood lately... All I want to do is crochet or mod podge or make silhouettes or decorate. However, I'm able to do none of the above due to lack of supplies. I have crocheting needles (thanks to a recent purchase on ebay), mod bodge (again... ebay), and fabric squares (need I say where from?). I don't have yarn or spare magazines (other than car ones...) or anything to mod podge, or large paper or any other required essentials for my crafty desires. It's annoying and to be honest a little depressing. Especially since I have all of the above needed items in my storage unit in Texas. That's helpful. BOO.

So, instead of being crafty, I've been a bookworm. So far this week I have finished Husband Coached Childbirth (a book on the Bradley Method), Belly Laughs (Jenny McCarthy), Baby Laughs (again, Jenny McCarthy), The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy (actually the best so far...) and am debating starting another book tonight. Our friend Liz so generously gave us several books to read when Nick was in Houston (Thanks Liz! You're a star!) so I've got another two or three from her to read. I'm also ordering one on water births from ebay (surprise surprise) and am looking forward to that.

Oh Baby!

So yesterday I felt a few "bubbles" in my lower abdomen and thought it felt a little weird. At first I thought it was just gas (what isn't gas nowadays?!) but then nothing happened. Then I felt a couple more. You know when you are a little kid and you blow spit bubbles? It feels like that when they pop. It then dawned on me that this is probably the baby! How exciting that it's not gas! haha! So I laid still and tried to see if I could feel it again. I told Nick about it and he immediately put his hand on my tummy to see if he could feel it too (nope.... too soon). For now this is just a me and the baby trick and to be honest, that's really cool. I felt it again this morning before I got out of bed and am really looking forward to them getting a little stronger and Nick being able to feel them too. I know he's excited about it and I'm looking forward to letting him in on it with us.

On another note... it has sunk in that in a couple weeks I'll find out the results from my blood tests. I wasn't at all nervous until I read about someone who's baby has Trisomy 18/Edwards Syndrome. For those of you who haven't researched this online for more than half an hour (like me last night.... why oh why did I do that?!) this is a disorder where the baby gets an extra 18th cromosome (or partial extra one). This is very serious (and is the second most likely to occur autosomal trisomy next to Down's Syndrome) and has a very low survival rate. I'm talking 95% don't make it to birth, then 50% of the remaining 5% don't make it past 2 months, then only 1% of those children make it past age 10. It's truly heartbreaking. Of course, now I am terrified. Nick and I had always said that we were ready for anything that could come our way and that we'd get through it, but now that I'm pregnant, I'm not ready for that! I hope and pray that our baby is healthy and happy, because those mothers (the one's with babies that have genetic disorders, etc) are much stronger than I am. I'm sure that if the news did come that something wasn't quite right with my baby that I'd be my usual self and look up everything there is to know on the subject and then find a way to deal with it, but I'm hoping to God I don't have to. I can't imagine losing my baby. Scratch that, I can (and do from time to time when I get in panic mode) but don't want to. So, I find out if my baby is at a higher risk for a whole load of problems in a couple weeks, so until then, forgive me if I'm a little anxious or moody.

If our baby does have a higher risk for anything, we have decided not to do an amniocentesis or CVS... we figure we'll prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but are not willing to take the risk of miscarrying the baby just because we want to find out sooner rather than later. This is our own personal decision and in no way am I saying others shouldn't.

Thank goodness I bought the fetal doppler... that thing has been SO reassuring lately. It's so nice to sit there and listen to the heartbeat and kicks with it. It somehow makes me feel so much better to know that the little heart is beating on and getting stronger.

On a lighter (or heavier... depending on how you look at it) note... GOOD LORD IS MY BUTT GETTING BIG! Geez. I can't help but sing baby got back when I look in the mirror... it's crazy. Where in the world is this coming from?! I still have not put on weight but yet my tummy, butt and boobs are getting huge! What?! How is this possible? My legs and arms aren't shrinking... so where is this fat coming from? Are my muscles shrinking? I've attached a picture (17 weeks) for you, but keep in mind, nightgowns are good at hiding booties. Oh, and yes, I now realize that my pj's are on backwards. No, I did not intend to do that. Yes, I have some pregnancy brain issues.

And Breathe....

I love my husband. In fact, he's my favorite person in the whole world. However... He's also one of the only people that can completely drive me up a wall with good news (and I don't necessarily mean that in a good way).

I love to hear him excited about anything, it makes me smile and get those butterflies in my tummy just like when we were dating (and no... it's not the baby moving around in there). The only problem with that is currently it doesn't take a lot to make me worry or get worked up about anything. With the extra blood in my system, my heart is working overtime and it's easy to confuse those extra heartbeats for anxiety or even rage sometimes. It takes me half a second to raise my voice and completely go off my rocker in a hormonal rage these days (even if it IS NOT my intention to do so, nor my desire).

Anyway- He had some exciting news to report from some of the conversations at the conference and all I could think of was the changes it would make us go through. Unfortunately, the time line for these changes would be from November (of this year) to February (of next year). HELLO!!! OUR BABY IS DUE JANUARY 17th!!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR MASSIVE CHANGES! At least not the kind that could be negotiated to a different time frame. I'm torn between being super excited for my husband and terrified for myself and baby. I quit my job because we felt the stress/drama involved with it was not worth it to me and the growth of our baby. Why would we go against that theory and add MAJOR stress (even if the outcome is GREAT) to our lives now?

I'm not at liberty to discuss exactly what I'm talking about, so this may not make any sense... but it helps me not feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. I may be overreacting, or jumping the gun a little (especially since nothing is in stone), but I am a planner and like to know everything as soon as I can. I don't like not knowing what is going to happen... especially with the possible changes drastically affecting the birth of our first child.

Would the changes better our lives in the long run? Most likely.
Would I consider them in any other time frame? Absolutely.
Could it be that I'm blowing everything out of proportion? Certainly.
Will this drive me crazy until I know what the whole story is? Without a doubt.

Urgh. I'm off to take a bath to relax and calm myself back down. I love my husband and God will work this out for me. I just need to remember to breathe.

Thanks for listening.

Sleep Deprivation or Sleep Preparation?

I haven't been able to sleep right all week and have noticed a pattern in my new sleeping habits. I am able to sleep for about 3 hours before I wake up (either because I have to pee or my hip hurts or I've realized I'm on my back or stomach). Then I can't fall back asleep until about 5 hours later. Then I'm back asleep for about 3 hours and up again for another 5. So basically, I'm still getting 9 hours of sleep a day, just in broken segments. I have tried to break this habit by having a warm glass or milk or a cup of decaf tea, reading a boring book, watching a movie I've seen a million times, just laying there staring at the ceiling... all to no avail. I now have a new theory- could it be that I'm on the same schedule as my baby? I wonder if the little person in there is awake or asleep and wonder if that's why I'm not able to sleep too. Babies usually sleep more than that though, so I'm wondering what the deal is.

On a different topic- I've decided that I don't want to find out the sex of the baby until delivery day. Well... about 98% decided anyway. The more I think about it, the more I don't want to know. I'll go into it in detail later, but as for now, I'm waiting for Nicolas to call me to let me know how his presentation went (he should be done for the day any minute) and then I'm off to bed, for it has been all of 5 hours and 12 minutes since my last nap and I'm knackered ;)

Waaahhh!

This is at 16 weeks, below is at 15 weeks... huge!


Warning: I'm in a mood at the moment so this may just be me complaining the whole time!

Ok, so I'm SUPER emotional lately and I hate it! Not only do I hate it, but it makes me MORE emotional because I get really frustrated with not being able to control how I'm feeling. I'm either super bitchy or really easily offended. Those are your two options... there is no middle ground. There isn't really a happy state or mellow state- that's all you get. I'm ready to be back to my normal self, where I'm not a spaz all the time!

Nick is gone this week (he left really early this morning and doesn't get back until Friday). I'm hoping that I am back to normal soon because this whole weepy thing is really annoying. I miss him a ton and have now realized how much I rely on him to improve my moods... I'm lonely and irritable. I look forward to talking to him so much, then when he calls I am cranky because he didn't call me sooner... poor thing! Then I get off the phone with him irritated, which follows with me being miserable and then getting mad at myself for being that way and wanting him to call again. Oh so frustrating!

I'm also really irritated by several people lately. I won't name names, but geez... if my hormones don't calm down soon I'm sure they'll realize who they are soon!

Anyway... I'm going to try and get off my tangent (no guarantees!) and update on other stuff...

Top 5 Pregnancy News This Week:

1. I'm 16 weeks, as of Sunday the 2nd... which is 3.6 months completed (so I'm almost done with my 4th month... Nic hates that method of counting!)
2. I can no longer sleep very well... which could be causing the crankiness... I can't get comfy!
3. Round Ligament pain sucks. That's all I'm going to say about that.
4. My appetite is back for the most part, but I still am not gaining weight. I have technically lost 4 pounds since I have become pregnant. I don't know whether to be happy about that or worried! Lol... I'm definitely bigger so I'm not that bothered. I think I'm going to be the size of a house by the time I'm through, I'll attach pictures in a second so you can see what I mean.
5. Nic and I are now debating if we want to find out the sex of the baby or not... At first I really wanted to, and he kind of did, but now we're not so sure. We'll find out eventually in the end anyway, what's the rush? Plus, I want to have a drug free childbirth and maybe that will help me stay motivated to finish the job if you know what I mean. We wouldn't get to find out for another month and by that time we're already halfway there... so I dunno. Is it worth it? I'm not sure.

I've been reading up on the pregnancy which is good...I feel like the more I know the better prepared I am. I've read the Pregnancy Bible, the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and am currently reading Husband Coached Childbirth (about the Bradley Method... which is interesting). You have to take everything with a grain of salt (especially on the last two) but I'm liking the ideas. Nic can't stand Dr. Bradley, but that's because he speaks in absolutes and doesn't think that any other method is ok... which I know is false. People who have never heard of his stuff have had babies just fine, but I like the ideas behind his thinking for the most part and hope to use some of his techniques when I'm in labor. I'd like it to be a positive experience, not one where I'm screaming bloody murder at Nic for "doing this to me".

Ok... here's the pictures, I'm going to try and go to bed (I've tried for a couple hours then gave up and am now ready for trying again... it's 2:30! )

I can't get the pictures to go where I want them and I'm too grumpy/sleepy to mess with it so they're staying up there. @#$%!

Bump

Above is the bump at 13 weeks, and below is at 14 weeks :)

Addicted to Ebay

Ok... so we've recently made ourselves a new ebay account for over here and I've become thoroughly addicted. I have it open on the computer all the time now and am constantly searching for good deals on stuff that we wanted for the baby... and I've bought some stuff WAY cheaper than it cost brand new. For example... we just won the bidding war for our stroller this morning. Nic and I had been shopping for baby stuff this weekend and had picked out the stroller that we really liked. It is called the Quinny Buzz 3 and it's super light and easy to put up/take down. It is really manouverable and I really liked it because you can have the child (once it's not in the carseat bit anymore) face either away from you like most strollers or towards you... I thought that was really nice. Click here to see it. Anyway- brand new it is running 385 pounds (and that's just the stoller... not the carseat)! Crazy! We got it on ebay for 108 pounds plus like another 50 quid for shipping, so like 160 pounds total. We are so happy about it and can't wait for it to get here :) We'll buy the carseat new, so we'll add like another 100 pounds, but still... that's the whole set for less than 300 pounds whereas we'd be spending nearly 500 otherwise! Yay ebay!

I also bought a sterilizer for the nozzel of the breast pump and the spare bottles for when I'm not around to breastfeed. Normally it's 35 and I got it for 10.50 including shipping. I'm stoked. I've bid on a few other things as well but they aren't over yet, so I'll have to see if we've won those as well (a bouncy chair, a bottle/food warmer, and a breastfeeding kit thing).

Other than my adventures on ebay we've been pretty busy. We spent a great majority of Saturday shopping around for baby stuff and picking out a crib... we found the one that we liked but they don't have it in stock so we'll have to wait for them to get more in. That's ok, it's not like we are in a huge rush. :) It's actually pretty nice though, it is a crib that converts to a toddler bed and then into a little couch later once they've outgrown that. We'll get some good use out of it that way I hope. Plus it matches our bedroom furniture, which normally wouldn't be that big of a deal (it is going into a different room afterall) but we have extra bedroom furniture anyway since our master bedroom here already has a closet (our last house didn't). So we have a wardrobe that matches it already and a bedside table as well.

I think I'm going to get most of the bedding from Target and have Nick bring it over when he goes in August for the Deepwater Intervention Forum Convention. Then I'll almost be done with the nursery! How's that for early! All I'll need after that will be my glider/footstool and I'll be golden :)

I've made a list of everything that we want/need for the baby right off the bat and I'm slowly making my way through it. I'm such a planner. Here's hoping that ebay has some more stuff on my list! Lol...

The Good, The Bad, and The Annoying...

Being pregnant brings a whirlwind of emotions and changes that simply can't be ignored. There are plenty of things that I wouldn't miss out on for the world, while there are other things that I wouldn't mind missing, and still other things that are just plain annoying and could go at any second and I wouldn't be upset in the slightest.

Things I love about being pregnant:

1. Knowing that my son or daughter is living inside me comfortably.
2. The feeling I get knowing that I am providing everything my baby needs to grow and develop into a real little person.
3. Seeing our little one on the ultrasound, watching it move around.
4. Watching my husband go through stages of pure excitement, pure fear, and pure happiness.
5. Getting everything ready for the baby, buying cute little outfits and such, preparing for our lives to change to accommodate our little baby.

Things I don't love about being pregnant:
1. The mood swings... holy cow. I have NO control whatsoever over my emotions. I cry during commercial breaks or because we are out of milk. I laugh uncontrollably at lame jokes. I get irritated SUPER easy and poor Nic takes the brunt of it!
2. That I don't yet look pregnant really, just fat. It does quite a bit to your self image in the beginning.
3. I'm gassy. Whether I have indigestion and am constantly burping or whether it's coming out the back end... I have gas all the time and it's really really gross and embarrassing.
4. I'm tired ALL the time... I'm definitely ready to have my energy back.
5. I'm always hungry. And I REALLY REALLY REALLY want Taco Bell, which isn't in the UK unfortunately.

Things I am Super Annoyed by:
1. My boobs are really sore and I can't get comfortable while sleeping... it can be a really big pain when you are exhausted but can't get comfortable. Yes, I know this is only going to get worse.
2. I have to pee every two seconds. I can go a MAXIMUM of 3 hours before I have to go again. Seriously. It doesn't matter how much I drink... I have to go regardless. I've always had a big bladder, so this is a new thing for me.
3. I'm impatient about some things and don't like surprises... I want to know what sex the baby is NOW and I can't.
4. My hair grows really fast, I shave my legs and literally 8 hours later I'm prickly again. Annoying.
5. Something will sound really good to eat and then you spend some energy making it and it then it isn't what you wanted and you end up making something else instead. I can't tell you how many times I've spent like an hour making lunch or dinner and then ended up having cereal and fruit because I changed my mind and wanted that instead. Picky taste buds are annoying.

Ok... that's my list for the moment, or at least for the first trimester. Today I am 13 weeks along and I'm moving into my second trimester. I should hopefully get some of my energy back and not have to pee so much... I'm looking forward to that. :)

Meet our Baby...

I don't know why it's posting the pictures in this order... that wasn't really what I had in mind but that's ok. The above picture is my growing baby bump at 12 weeks... I now understand why everyone thought it was twins. It's a little easier to see when you aren't looking down on it lol. There is only one baby in there though (whew!) and we were able to see him/her in the ultrasound last week which was absolutely amazing. It is by far the most astounding thing I've ever seen. It's one thing to find out that you are pregnant by a little stick that says so, it's another thing completely to actually see your little miracle on a screen flipping around. For some reason I had it in my head that it would take the ultrasound tech a second to find the baby in there since it was so small but as soon as she put the (FREEZING COLD) sticky gel stuff on and stuck the little scope thing on my belly there it was. Talk about a flood of emotions- one second I was laughing (which made her job a little difficult I think) and the next I was crying (again... poor lady) and eventually I had to calm myself down a little so that she didn't have to push so hard to keep the thing on my moving belly. Lol. The baby didn't really want to cooperate and kept moving around like a crazy person in there. She said I had made a ton of room in there for him/her and it looked like they were using the space well... I had to agree. The baby was waving its arms around and doing little flips in there just having a great time. It's the strangest thing to see all that movement inside you and not be able to feel it! In the picture above you can see the baby's head on the right side, it has its (I abhor calling the baby "it" but you can only say the baby so many times in one sentence I think...) left hand up by his/her face. The thing in the middle that looks like a leg is actually the umbilical cord (which it was playing with part of the time) but the one on the far left is a leg.
Here's another picture of our little baby... We can't wait to meet him/her and actually get to see it all the time. The sonogram was over before we knew it and I can't wait to go back for another sneak peek at my baby! We don't go back until September which seems like ages from now, but I'm sure it will be here before we know it!

Enough is Enough...

I've quit my job. I'm not usually the type to give up on anything, but I've simply had enough. Since the redundancies (lay off's) in February things have been a bit frantic/depressing at work. Things just aren't the same without the people that were let go and the workload in my department has increased significantly. Once I found out we were pregnant I did my best to not let myself get stressed at work but it was proving to be more and more difficult. Then Danielle (a girl I worked with and really really liked/appreciated) put her notice in, as she is moving back to Inverness (about an hour or so away). I asked multiple times, and e-mailed too, but got no response as to whether they were going to replace her. If they didn't, that would leave just Robert and I in the admin department and Vicky in reception. We were already struggling with the three of us in admin and one in reception, as we used to have 9 in our department! PLUS they have started to have Robert do payroll on Mondays and Tuesdays which causes even more work to be passed on to me. On top of this, I was called into a meeting where I was repremanded for being late to work and notes were made of every time I had ever been late (including 3-4 minutes!!!!). I asked if they counted the (more often than not) times when I only took a 20 minute long lunch instead of my hour, or the times that I stayed late (again... pretty frequent) and was told that extra time didn't matter because I was lowering the morale of the company by being late. LOL! I put my notice in the next day and haven't looked back since. My last day at work is Thursday (the 2nd) and I can't wait. I'm really looking forward to preparing for the baby and being a housewife again.

On a happier note... we will get to see our baby on our first ultrasound on the 2nd of July as well and we can't wait!!! We are so stinking excited about this baby and can't wait to actually "see" it! So far the pregnancy has been good, and I haven't really been sick. I've been a little queasy in the mornings and I've been UBER tired, but other than that the only difference that I've noticed is my growing belly. Yes, I am showing already. When Nic gets back from Massachusetts (for the MATE competition, which I didn't go to after all), I'll have him take a picture and I'll post it up here. Everyone keeps joking (I hope!) that we are having twins or multiples.... I think it's pretty funny. Nic keeps saying he thinks so too because of how much I'm showing already. I'm only 11 1/2 weeks and I can't fit into ANY of my old clothes now. Lol.

Anyway, while Nic is out of town I've picked up a quick Jodi Picoult book to read, so I'm going to go so I can finish it before he gets home. I hope you all are doing well!