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Wednesday, 30 July 2008

The continued car hunt and such.

We are still looking for a new car (well... new to us at least). Nic borrowed a bicycle from Jock at work and rode it home one day for lunch last week and decided that he didn't really want to do that every day. I figured that he'd change his mind and I'm actually kind of glad he did. While riding a bike to work is great for the environment and the pocket as far as gas is concerned, I really didn't feel like it was a very safe option for him. The entrance to our street is right by a corner that cars tend to fly around and I wouldn't want anyone to hit him as he got on the road. So we are back to looking solely for a car. The other day we were trying to figure out if it would be cheaper to get our car up to par for MOT but decided that we'd rather not when we saw what all would need to be done to it. We would have to replace all four tires (or tyres as they say here...), at least one of the wheels, and the brakes. We'd have to get the back door fixed, get new windshield wipers and fix the sprayer thing, fix all the rust spots, and pressure wash the undercarriage. By the end of all that... we'd be paying basically as much as we bought the car for (we bought it from a friend pretty cheap). So anyway- we've been looking online for something and haven't found what we are looking for yet. As long as we get something by the end of August we are ok. Bob got back into town today and called us as soon as he landed. He's had a busy few weeks, he had to replace two vehicles in his house (his wife, Jamie's, and his daughter Paige's). Maybe we can get some pointers on speed car hunting.

I've been keeping myself busy around the house, trying not to get too impatient waiting for the office to say they are ready for me. I've been doing laundry like a mad woman, ironing, doing the dishes and cooking- the usual. Other than that, I've been playing sudoku like it's going out of style. I've become quite addicted to the game for some reason. If I'm sitting still, that's what I'm most likely doing. I guess it's a good thing, at least it keeps me thinking and helps me keep sharp. I really enjoy the ones that have 16 numbers per square, instead of just the nine, they seem to be more entertaining.

I'm really trying to stay positive about missing all the fun this weekend back in the States. Saturday is Traci and Grandma Julie's birthday as well as my Grandparent's (Wanda and Frank) 60th wedding anniversary party. It's going to be like a huge family reunion and as far as I know, Nic and I are going to be the only ones to miss it. I'm really broken hearted about that, I would love to be there to see everyone and be a part of the festivities. Then Sunday is Megan and Kevin's wedding... I'm going to miss that too.

I can't think of anything else to add... so I'll leave it at that.

Friday, 18 July 2008

Update Shmupdate.

So a few of you have decided to flood my e-mail with requests for more "up to date" updates. Again, I don't have a whole lot to say- we haven't been up to much.

Nic got his contract completely filled out today, so he is officially employed on this side of the pond now (as opposed to working for the Houston office officially). I guess that's a good thing, we won't have to worry about it anymore. On the other hand, they only get paid once a month from this office so it will be a little different money wise. I think I might actually miss seeing the bigger amount on the paychecks (since he was getting paid in dollars the amount was pretty much double what it will be now). That's ok though, I'm sure the bank account here will look a lot better now that there will actually be money deposited in it on a regular basis. I also finally was completely added to the account at the bank here, so that's good news and great timing.

I am toying with the idea of finding a job somewhere else over here, simply because I'm becoming more and more impatient. Last I heard there were some "hurdles" that needed to be jumped before they could get me on and it was going to take a couple weeks to get everything straightened out. Last time I heard it was going to be a couple weeks was almost 9 months ago. That's not very soothing for me. The thing is, I was really looking forward to working there... hell, I would say I was even really excited about it. I don't know whether I've fully committed myself to looking elsewhere or not, I haven't completely given up hope that maybe- just maybe- they'll get it straightened out sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I'm casually looking around for something else to come my way. We'll see what ends up happening. Until I start working somewhere, I'll continue to be super housewife (I've actually started to like ironing) and keep my house in shape. Nic brings home paperwork for me to do for him pretty often, I enjoy doing that and it keeps me busy too.

Let's see... what else... oh, Nic and I decided to wait a little bit longer to continue officially "trying" to have kids. We had some huge in depth conversations about where we are now and how it's not so bad just being the two of us. We figure we have plenty of time to start a family and that it's nice just being able to do whatever we want whenever we want without having to worry about certain things. This move has really made our bond a lot stronger I think, and it's great to just be happy being alone with each other. Yes, we do still want kids, but we think it's worth waiting to get to spend some more quality time with each other first.

We are also looking to buy a new car (actually really soon... since our MOT will expire on our car at the end of August and we are certain that it won't pass again this year). Nic is really thinking about getting a bicycle to ride to work and has been shopping around for one that he really likes. So far he's found one that he really likes. It's called the Trek Soho 4 and he's been talking about it non-stop for the past 3 days. We've been looking at it online, he's looked at it in the shop, and we are supposed to go look at it together at the store this weekend. I think it'd be good for him to ride his bike to work, I just don't know about it during the winter time. It does get slippery and snowy here, which makes me wonder about how safe it is to ride it to work then. Plus, there aren't sidewalks to ride on and it is pitch dark in the mornings when he has to go to work in the winter. I think it'd be best to get a bike for him to ride when the weather is appropriate and another cheap car for during the rest of the days. He insists that he would ride it rain or shine (or sleet or snow)... I'm not so sure I buy that. The problem with my idea is that it is hard as hell trying to convince my husband to go "cheap" on anything (unless it's something for me or at the grocery store lol). So getting another cheap car is out of the question since this one hasn't even lasted us a year (well, it runs fine, but due to the rust on the undercarriage, broken back door, and brake issues it won't pass MOT and would cost more to fix it than we paid for it in the first place). I think we are going to look around this weekend and see what we come up with.

That's about all I can come up with for today...

Monday, 14 July 2008

Movies

Ok, so recently we haven't been up to a whole lot, besides catching up on movies that we wanted to see. That's actually all we've done lately, besides hanging out with Fiona and Stavros. He just moved into his new flat, so we've gone over there a few times. It's a nice two bedroom two bath flat in town, so it's convenient to a lot of things. We met up at his place and walked to the indian place we really like the other day, which was nice. It's good to sit and chat with them, we enjoy their company.

I think we've got our money's worth our of our movie passes this month (and we aren't even close to being done yet since Batman: The Dark Knight hasn't come out, as well as Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, and Wall-E (even though we've already seen it)). So far this month we've seen Hancock, Journey to the Center of the Earth (in 3D), Kung Fu Panda (twice so far...), The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, the Forbidden Kingdom, Wanted and Wall-E (the latter 2 in the States). We've enjoyed everything so far. I think my favorites are Wall-E, Kung Fu Panda, and Prince Caspian though. I do love Jet Li though, so that would probably come in fourth. Anyway, I'm about to go to bed- I just wanted to say that I'm not neglecting the blog, I just didn't really have a whole lot to talk about. Tomorrow is a holiday here (I'm not sure for what exactly) so we'll be here or hanging out with Fi and Stavros. We also want to go to a store to shop for a sleeve for Nic's new laptop. OH- I haven't mentioned that yet. We got Nic a new mini book thing. It's a laptop that fits on a piece of paper basically (it fits perfectly in my purse actually, which Nic hates but I think is rather cute. He's been fighting me on whether or not I should get to keep it..lol). He needed a new laptop since the hinges broke on his old one, so it'll be good. I kind of want one for myself.

Anyway- I'm off to bed, I need to clean house again tomorrow before they get here, so I can't sleep in like I have the past few days. Seeing as it's already 1:40 am I should probably get some shut eye.

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Time for an update

So I've been lazy the past week or so and haven't updated at all, so I figure now is as good of a time as any (it's either this... or cleaning house).

We've actually been doing a lot since last time I updated from California. I think the last time I updated we had just wrapped up the MATE competition. We still are talking about it and remembering how much fun we had there. It was very busy and sometimes very stressful, but we really enjoyed ourselves and got to know some fantastic people. I'm glad that we got to go out with some of the judges on Friday night (I think I said Thursday last time... which was incorrect). We hung out with about 15 judges at this really great pizza/brewery place called the Pizza Port (if you are in La Jolla, California- be sure to check it out). From there, we went out with Brennan, Khrysta, Peter, and Tad and hung out in the dorms. We all had a really good time and got to know each other pretty well. Saturday night was the banquet, which I've already talked about and when we went to see Wanted with Bob. Sunday, Clete came down to see us. We went to eat at TGI Fridays (they have awesome quesadillas by the way) and watched Wall-E. I loved it and can't wait for it to come out here, so we can see it again. He spent the night and then on Monday we went kayaking. We were going to go skydiving but we opted for something cheaper so Clete could go too, and we had a great time kayaking anyway. We got really close to some dolphins, which was absolutely amazing. If you reached really far over while in your kayak you could have touched them (we didn't because we didn't want to tip over...) but they were right next to us which was really neat. It's one thing to see dolphins that are captured/tame but to see them in the wild where they belong is such an awe inspiring experience. We played with them for a little while and followed them around while they hunted for jelly fish. Then we went to go and catch some really huge waves (not a good idea). I was going to stay back further and let the boys play but Nic convinced me to join in because it was "so much fun" and he felt that I had to try it. So he went ahead of me a little bit and then waited for me as I waited for a bigger wave. When it came it was huge and it pushed me directly into him. Literally. I hit him in the back with my kayak (he had a life jacket on so it didn't hurt him) but it did push him into an awkward position and the wave ended up knocking him over onto some rocks. He cut his knee (and a few places on his feet and calf too) and has been hobbling around ever since. He has quite enjoyed telling everyone the story about how it's my fault he fell out and has been getting sympathy from everyone. I think he's going to milk it for all it's worth, which is ok... I still feel really bad about it. It's healing now so I think by next week it should be good again.

Tuesday was our flight back to Aberdeen and due to Nic's injury we had to really rush in the airports. The good thing about that is that we made a flight that we probably wouldn't have since we got to ride in the cart across the airport instead of walking all the way there. On the first flight (from San Diego to Minneapolis) we actually flew with one of the teams from MATE and they came and thanked Nic again for judging (he was wearing his judge shirt) which was really sweet. We landed back home at like 9 on Wednesday morning and went to bed. We slept until like 6 at night, then got up and ate and pretty much went back to bed at like 10. Thursday Nic went to work and then brought Stavros home with him. We then went out to eat at Pizza Hut with Bob, Stavros, Mike (whom I am now calling Micah-L...), Ian, and Ian's wife Jackie. That was good, it was nice to see people again. We then all walked over to the theater to see Hancock, which was good but definitely surprising. Friday was the 4th of July, which came and went without a whole lot of notice. We said happy Independence Day to each other, and that was about the end of our celebrations. It's hard to find fire works on a non holiday here. Anyway, Saturday was Jamie's birthday, so we called her to say hi and get the latest scoop on what's going on, and pretty much relaxed the whole day. Sunday we went to Subsea 7 to go see the simulator there, and played around on it for quite a while. It was actually a good time, we ended up playing Axis and Allies in their conference room (Nic and I, Stavros, Micah-L and Bob). Nic, Bob and I won (of course) even though Nic and I kept nodding off while it was everyone else's turn, since we hadn't gone to bed from Saturday yet. We also went to the grocery store to replenish the stock. I had cleaned out the fridge before we left for California and so it was pretty much empty. Monday was Ducati cat's birthday (he's 1 now!) but other than that it was work for Nic and reading for me.

I've been reading quite a bit since we got back from California. I think it has hit me that I'm going to go to work soon and I won't have time to do everything I've become used to doing to fill the time. I've read The Pact (another Jodi Piccoult) and Baby Proof (by Emily Giffin) in the past two days... both were good, but I think Baby Proof will be on my mind for a while. It's about a woman who doesn't want to have kids and marries someone with the intent on having a "childfree" marriage. Then the husband changes his mind, and it's about what happens when you really love someone but have a major issue you can't compromise on. It's been stuck in my head since I've read it and it actually has a lot more social commentary than I expected. Anyway... I have been banned from reading for the rest of the week by my husband, he's feeling neglected he says. Haha.

Anyway- Nic will be leaving for London to go see his programmers again on Thursday. He is just gone for the day (he leaves at 8:55 and comes home at 7:20) so it isn't huge deal. Then Friday is Taylor's birthday (she'll be 3 this year!). Bob is possibly coming over tonight for dinner, but I haven't heard anything. Who knows. Wednesday night I think we are going to the movies with Fiona and Stavros, but I don't have that confirmed yet either.

I think that's about it... I need to clean my house just in case Bob does make it tonight, it's already 1:30.

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Exhausted

Whew.... what a crazy few days we've had.

Since Wednesday we've been MATE-a-holics and have been busy busy busy. Wednesday night was the judges dinner where we went to the Scripps center and ate with all the lovely judges and got geared up for the competition that would follow in the next few days. We had plenty of food, and yummy desserts (I had the oreo cake that was TO DIE for). It was nice to spend some time with the crew and visit with everyone we hadn't seen in a year (or two). Thursday morning we got up bright and early and made our way over to the pool to start the competition. Nic was sent to judge the Engineering Evaluations (each team had to present their vehicle in front of three judges and answer any questions they threw at them). I was stationed at MATE central aka the AV area were I did a variety of things. Scott and I were announcing everything, updating the website with a live feed of Mission scores, and organizing and entering in all the scores (mission, engineering evaluations, technical reports and posters), plus answering questions, playing music, and keeping tabs on where everyone was supposed to be. We had 72 teams participating this year, from 7 different countries... it was a pretty crazy time and everyone had a blast. The teams did great and I was so very impressed with everyone that came! There were some teams that were really innovative, but what really got to me was how helpful they all were towards each other. I can't tell you how many times something went wrong with a team and another team jumped in to help them out. They were loaning each other monitors, power supplies, cables, and technical support without flinching. It was so great to see everyone working together and just having a great time.

We also got to know a few people pretty well, as Thursday night we went out with a crew of judges to a pizza/brewery that was pretty fun. We had a great time and probably stayed out later than we should have. Friday and Saturday were very busy, especially Saturday for Scott and I (as all scores had to be in before the banquet that night). I haven't worked that hard in a while but I must say it was quite a welcome experience for me. I've been so bored these past 8 months that it was really nice to be busy again. We worked everything out and got everything organized by about 4:15 in time for us to go back to the hotel, take a thirty minute nap, and then get ready for the banquet that night. Everyone was fantastic at the banquet and they even thanked me for my work specifically, which was really nice. I didn't expect any acknowledgment, I was just there to help, but it was definitely nice to be recognized by Jill (she organizes and leads the competition). Everyone asked if we'd be sure to come back next year, Scott even said if I don't come back next year he won't be there. It was definitely an ego boost and it made me feel really good to feel needed again.

Anyway, I'll post pictures as soon as Scott gets the website up again (we took it down to put up everyone's final scores since we wanted it to be a surprise who actually won the competition at the banquet). I'd give them a few days to relax a bit before it's up so it might be a few days. We took our camera but didn't have ANY time whatsoever to snap pictures.

Anyway... now that the competition is over (for this year) we are relaxing today and we are waiting for Clete to get here. We are going to hang out with him today which should be a lot of fun. I'll update again soon, maybe when I have a little more of my energy back. I'm worn out.

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Too many options!

Nic and I spent quite a bit of time today trying to decide what we were going to do today. It seems we spend more time deliberating than we do in the car actually getting to wherever we are going. There are so many things that we'd like to do and it seems we are having some scheduling issues. Today we woke up quite early (about 4:15) and waited around the hotel for things to open. We then went to get donuts (we really wanted kolaches but couldn't find them) and then walked around the outdoor shopping center down the street. Nothing was open yet (it didn't open until 11 since it's Sunday) so we just window shopped. After that we headed over to the museum district in San Diego at Balboa Park. We walked around there for a few hours and enjoyed looking at the gardens. We saw some squirrels that were out and about picking up nuts and decided to help them out a little. They were pretty tame (I guess you'd have to be with all the people walking around all the time) and were really cute. We also saw some lizards that looked like miniature alligators. They have an organ pavilion that you can hear from a distance, so we sat by the Japanese Friendship Gardens and listened to the organs play for a little while. We had a good time. We were going to go to the Air and Space museum but then changed our minds as they were charging $25 per person because there was a new Star Trek exhibit. No thanks.

We picked up a bunch of pamphlets on things that we can do here and since then have been debating what we'll do while we are here. There are quite a few kayak tours that we can take which sound pretty fun, both of us really enjoy kayaking and wouldn't mind that. Nic is interested in renting a jet ski for a few hours to play around in the ocean. We went ahead and picked up information on the Birch Aquarium too, since we'll get to tour that with MATE. I'm excited to do that, it looks like fun. What we really want to do and are REALLY considering is going sky diving. They have a lot of quality sky diving schools here and Nic and I have always wanted to sky dive. We think that is something we won't do once we have kids so if we are going to do it, now is the time. We'd do a tandem jump from 13,000 feet... we both are really thinking about it. We are going to see how tomorrow goes (tomorrow is our trip to the Embassy) first.

We have not only been planning what we are going to do each day when we aren't busy but what we are going to eat. We've missed certain American foods, and are planning on eating what we can while we are here. We've already had donuts (this morning), and Papa John's (dinner tonight). We had Mexican food last night and have a few restaurants in mind for the upcoming few days. I'm really looking forward to eating my bbq chicken salad from CPK. I got really used to eating at the California Pizza Kitchen with the kids I used to watch at work and can't wait to go. Nic wants to have an American steak (the beef is quite different in Scotland- so I'm told).

Anyway, we are going to go back to the shopping center that wasn't open this morning to look around some more and maybe to to the beach. We are looking forward to watching the sunset tonight. We are also going to run to Target to pick up a few things (oh, how I've missed Target).

Heat and Headaches

I don't know if it's due to the change in temperatures (going from about 55 to 90 in a day) or if it's allergies or what, but I had a killer headache today. Nic and I are doing pretty well so far in keeping San Diego time (it's an eight hour difference from home), but we are both starting to really appreciate Scotland for several reasons. One, we like the cold weather better than the heat- that's for sure. Two, we miss our beautiful scenery. Although San Diego is pretty in it's own way, Scotland is just so much prettier. I miss the green (everything is brown here, probably due to lack of rain) and the hills and the historical buildings. You just don't get that here. Three, we miss our cinema passes (we paid $10 bucks a piece today to see Mongol which was really good). There are other reasons we miss home, but that's all I can think of to list right now. I think the Excedrin is kicking in which is great. Nic was starting to get a sympathy headache himself, I hope his goes away and doesn't get as bad. I am looking forward to really exploring San Diego tomorrow so I want us both to be refreshed.

We got our biometric scans done today- very quickly I might add. It only took like 10 minutes for both of us and the lady was really nice. She'd been working there for 10 years but she was really quick to adapt to the new procedures (the biometric scan only became a requirement in April of this year).

Anyway- I am about ready to go to bed, Nic woke me up at like 5:30 this morning and it's 10. I'll update again some time (we only ordered the internet for a day because it's $10 per day and we're cheap. Yes, it's only 5 pounds, but neither of us are willing to pay $100 for internet for the week. That's just silly.)

Friday, 20 June 2008

And We're Off!

We are about to leave for the airport (in about 15 minutes), but we decided that it might be a good idea to download the content map of the USA onto our Tom Tom before we left. We didn't think of that idea until about 6:30 this morning and it's still downloading as I type. It's quite a time consuming process really (considering that Nic decided to move the current UK maps, the Ireland map and the US map all onto one Sim card. I'll be happy when it's done, I'm ready to get on our way. I think we'll be ok on time, it's only 7:13 and our flight doesn't leave until 9:20. It takes us about 15 minutes to get to the airport (including parking), so I figure as long as we leave by 8 we should be perfect. The airport here is so tiny (think Houston Hobby or Amarillo) that you don't really have to to do the hour before bit if you can't.

I think I have everything that we need packed, I've made a list and checked it twice. Nic has even run to the office this morning (to pick up some more of his business cards and his jump drive).

Anyway- we are ready to go, so we're going to get going so that we have time to grab a quick bite to eat at the airport.

I love you all and will update as soon as I can!

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Plans are for changing.

Ok, so there have been a few slight adjustments made to our plans for this week. Nic left yesterday for Norway (instead of going today and coming back today) so that he could spend some time with the programmers. He still flies back tonight though, which is a good thing. He should land about 8:35 or so and I'll go pick him (and Bob) up at the airport. Tomorrow is trash day here, so I'm trying to get everything clean and in order so that nothing that could potentially be stinky will be left in my house while we are away. Then Thursday I'll pack and get everything ready to go for our journey. I have to admit, I'm not looking forward to the weather. I've become quite accustomed to it being 60 degrees every day. I think I'm going to melt. What's going to be tricky is that the pool for MATE is going to be outdoors this year (with very little sun protection) so I'm really quite worried about getting sunburned. Bob told us a trick that he used when he was doing the IronMan competitions and I think that I'll definitely see if that works. He would take a shower the night before the competition and then immediately lather himself up very liberally with sun screen. That way it would completely soak into the skin. Then the next morning he wouldn't do anything (definitely not shower because it would wash it all away). He said that worked really well and he didn't ever burn when everyone else did because they didn't allow the sunscreen to soak into their skin before getting in the water or sweating. I'll let you know if it works. Anyway- I thought I'd let you guys know our flight stuff so here goes:

Friday, the 20th:
KL 1442 from Aberdeen to Amsterdam- 9:20 am to 12:00 pm
KL 6045 from Amsterdam to Minneapolis- 1:25 pm to 3:20 pm
KL 6185 from Minneapolis to San Diego- 5:25 pm to 7:08 pm
(that's not too bad seeing as it's only 18 hours of travel time, but the layovers are a bit tight)

Tuesday, the 1st to Wednesday,the 2nd:
KL 6186 from San Diego to Minneapolis- 8:45 am to 2:46 pm
KL 6042 from Minneapolis to Amsterdam- 3:15 pm to 7:30 am
KL 1441 from Amsterdam to Aberdeen- 8:10 am to 8:40 am
(I didn't book the flights, a travel agent did (see previous post), I'm not that stupid as to only allow 30 minutes between a flight... I doubt we'll make that one to be honest. Also- note that there are some time changes there, the flight from Amsterdam to Aberdeen isn't really 30 minutes. The total travel time here is 16 hours)

Saturday the 21st, we'll be getting our biometric scans done. Sunday the 22nd, we'll just be enjoying San Diego. Monday the 23rd and Tuesday the 24th we'll be in Los Angeles at the Embassy. Wednesday the 25th we might be at the Embassy some more, but then Wednesday night we'll be at the opening ceremony for MATE. Thursday the 26th and Friday the 27th we'll be judging the MATE competition. Saturday the 28th we'll be attending the closing of MATE and the awards ceremony. Sunday the 29th we'll probably hang out with Cletis. Monday the 30th we'll be back at the Embassy if we need to be. That would be our last chance to wrap things up. It's going to be a pretty action packed week.

When the flights were changed the travel agent forgot to change the hotel too, so as of right now we only have hotel rooms for the 24th through the 29th. Hopefully that will all get worked out soon and we'll have a place to sleep the whole time. I'm trying to figure out what we should do on Sunday, the 22nd. I'd love to go to see the seals and sea lions, so maybe we'll go to the Children's Beach in La Jolla. Who knows. Maybe we'll check out the Fisherman's Wharf or go down town in San Diego. We'll just have to go exploring. We'll have a car the whole time, so it should be pretty easy to get around. We'll have most of the day on Saturday the 21st too, as the biometric scans are supposed to take less than 15 minutes each. I'm getting excited.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Things I've learned from my Fathers

Growing up, I always felt special for having two dads- I mean think of what that actually means. It means I got two birthday celebrations, two Christmas' (actually more than that when you tie in the extended families), and two men who loved me. Sure, there were times when I wished it wasn't that way and thought about what I was missing out on. I didn't get to spend the holidays with both of my parents at the same time and I was constantly being shuffled back and forth from house to house. Later on, it did cause some psychological issues, as I didn't have the regular father-daughter relationships that most children have with their fathers. I felt that my relationship with my Dad was lacking in closeness and support and I resented the fact that my father didn't really know ME for who I am. If he didn't know what my favorite tv show was or what my real goals and aspirations were, could he really love me as anything other than his child? I wanted him to love me for my personality and wit- not just because he had to.

When Dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer it was very scary for me. I had already watched Mom fight through Breast Cancer and saw the toll that it took on her and my family. Somehow though, it didn't seem so bad because my Mom beat it, surely Dad could too. His attitude furthered that theory of mine, it's hard to think that anything bad could be happening when everything is a "piece of cake". I really thought he was going to pull through it and that everything would be back to normal- only better. When Dad was in the hospital (before they actually diagnosed him and when they still thought it was just pneumonia) I had a good conversation with him about what we needed from each other. I told him how I needed to know what was going on and that he couldn't shelter me forever. I was trying to be more angry (that he hadn't told me that he was in the hospital until they were about to discharge him) than scared (that it could possibly be something more than pneumonia) unsuccessfully. I will say that my Dad's cancer definitely changed our relationship for the better. We talked much more often (pretty much every other day) which I thought was weird at first, but then grew to love. I felt like that was what I was missing all along. I thought for a while that maybe his disease was a gift to us, a way to rekindle our relationship and learn to really need each other again. I never expected him to die. While I still see those last months with my father as a gift, I also can't help but feel burned. It's almost as if I was shown what I could have had all along and then punished for not always feeling that way. I can't help but still feel very strongly about the loss of my father, and I'm sure I will feel this way for much longer- when we have kids especially. As much as I'd like to move on and say I feel fine again, it's days like today that I can't even pretend that I'm not still hurt by it.

However- this was supposed to be a happy post full of fond memories (of both of my fathers) and happy thoughts. I woke up this morning and thought of a long list of things that I have learned from my Father(s) and how that has changed me forever. Here are just a few of the things that I've learned:

-How to throw a ball in an un-girly fashion
-Being quiet is sometimes better than blabbing constantly
-Hard work always pays off
-People appreciate honesty
-Men are really good at getting out tangles without pulling hair
-Sometimes the garage is more relaxing/peaceful than the comfy sofa
-Singing in the car is something that should be done, even if people are watching
-Chicken and Dumplings and French Fries are soothing to the soul
-Sometimes Pizza does require a fork
-Advice should be given when asked (not whenever you feel like giving it)
-What to look for in a spouse (it's odd how much Nic is like my Papa)
-Sometimes you have to do things that other people want, even though it's not in your best interests (e.g. shave your beard, then hear everyone scream "grow it back!" because you don't look the same)
-Moving to a new place far from all your extended family isn't as scary if you have your immediate family with you
-Sometimes you don't have to say anything to get your point across, sometimes a look will do the trick
-Brownies are the best dessert (well... peach cobbler is pretty good too)
-Happy meals really do make people happy
-Staying up late to watch T.V. together is a pretty good bonding activity
-Gin Rummy is an awesome card game
-Father-Daughter square dances are never to be forgotten
-You don't have to be related by blood to be a really awesome parent

I've been pretty lucky to have two father figures in my life.

I would like to say a couple things to Papa- I love you so very much for everything you have done for me. You have always been there when I needed you (and when I thought I didn't). You have taught me so much about myself that I can't tell you how much I really appreciate you. You have sacrificed so much to give us a better life and have been exactly what I needed. I don't know where I'd be without you and I credit so many of my successes to you and the lessons you have given me.

To all the Father's out there- Papa, Tony, Joey... Happy Father's Day! I love you all and hope you have a very relaxing and enjoyable day.