Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Separation Anxiety

We've had a lot of stress in our household recently. Between finding out that Li doesn't qualify for a UK passport, to buying our new car (which we finally were able to do after a week of constant trouble!), to trying to get Li a visa so that she can remain in the UK. We've had what seems like a constant stream of problems come through our door and Nic and I are trying our damnedest to not let it get to us. It's hard to try to be chipper and excited about stuff when it seems like your whole world is falling apart. I've always said that no matter what happens, as long as we're together I'm happy. Well, we'll have to see if I can be happy when we're apart I guess... I have to at least give it a shot.

The latest news in the quest for Liara's visa is that we have to have 533 pounds extra in our bank account for three months to prove that we can support her without any public funds. Um, hi... who has an extra 830 dollars just lying around each month? I know we don't between paying all our bills here and the US. We may not have that much extra money each month, but we do pay all of our bills without asking for anything from the government in terms of assistance and have been doing so for the past 6 months. Doesn't that say anything?! Isn't that proof enough? Had I known we were going to have to prove this, I probably would have moved some money around to make sure this happened, but we only found out because I had e-mailed the UK Consulate General to ask some questions and clarify some things that I've been told about the visa process. I would have been super pissed off if I had applied for her visa and then been denied based on this little clause. So, anyway... because we don't have that in our favor, she's not going to be given her visa most likely (I'm still trying to figure something out...) she won't be allowed back in the UK for now. So, as of right now, the plan is for Liara and I to stay in the US for the three months necessary to prove we can afford our child (ugh) and get her visa sorted... then return to the UK with Nic. Nic has to go back to work, so he'll be coming home alone. I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I'll say it again... I hate this. I don't want to be separated from my husband, and more importantly, I don't want my daughter to be separated from her father. I can't even think about it without crying... I'm having a super emotional day.

I am so beyond upset with this whole process... especially due to the fact that she was born in this freaking country, and now they are making it so incredibly difficult for her to remain here. We aren't asking for anything... just for the right to be together. It makes me regret moving here in the first place. I have so many bitter feelings about living over here that it's ruining this whole experience. While I have really enjoyed living here, the way things are being handled now have made me want to move my little family back home as fast as we can. ALL of us.

I know that we can do this, we can live apart from each other... we've done it before (when Nic and I were still dating). However, I don't want to do that again. Not with Liara. I'm broken hearted and am going through serious separation anxiety issues and it's not even time for us to be apart yet.

At least this time we'll have skype and facebook and whatnot to keep us a little more connected to each other. I'm pretty good at updating facebook with pictures every week, I guess I'll have to be better about it (by the way... if you aren't my friend on facebook and want to be- here's my profile: http://www.facebook.com/#!/jen.alvarado. I keep it way more updated than this blog!).

I'm off to spend some quality time with my hubby... I'm going to soak up every second I can while I can!

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