Oh Baby!

So yesterday I felt a few "bubbles" in my lower abdomen and thought it felt a little weird. At first I thought it was just gas (what isn't gas nowadays?!) but then nothing happened. Then I felt a couple more. You know when you are a little kid and you blow spit bubbles? It feels like that when they pop. It then dawned on me that this is probably the baby! How exciting that it's not gas! haha! So I laid still and tried to see if I could feel it again. I told Nick about it and he immediately put his hand on my tummy to see if he could feel it too (nope.... too soon). For now this is just a me and the baby trick and to be honest, that's really cool. I felt it again this morning before I got out of bed and am really looking forward to them getting a little stronger and Nick being able to feel them too. I know he's excited about it and I'm looking forward to letting him in on it with us.

On another note... it has sunk in that in a couple weeks I'll find out the results from my blood tests. I wasn't at all nervous until I read about someone who's baby has Trisomy 18/Edwards Syndrome. For those of you who haven't researched this online for more than half an hour (like me last night.... why oh why did I do that?!) this is a disorder where the baby gets an extra 18th cromosome (or partial extra one). This is very serious (and is the second most likely to occur autosomal trisomy next to Down's Syndrome) and has a very low survival rate. I'm talking 95% don't make it to birth, then 50% of the remaining 5% don't make it past 2 months, then only 1% of those children make it past age 10. It's truly heartbreaking. Of course, now I am terrified. Nick and I had always said that we were ready for anything that could come our way and that we'd get through it, but now that I'm pregnant, I'm not ready for that! I hope and pray that our baby is healthy and happy, because those mothers (the one's with babies that have genetic disorders, etc) are much stronger than I am. I'm sure that if the news did come that something wasn't quite right with my baby that I'd be my usual self and look up everything there is to know on the subject and then find a way to deal with it, but I'm hoping to God I don't have to. I can't imagine losing my baby. Scratch that, I can (and do from time to time when I get in panic mode) but don't want to. So, I find out if my baby is at a higher risk for a whole load of problems in a couple weeks, so until then, forgive me if I'm a little anxious or moody.

If our baby does have a higher risk for anything, we have decided not to do an amniocentesis or CVS... we figure we'll prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but are not willing to take the risk of miscarrying the baby just because we want to find out sooner rather than later. This is our own personal decision and in no way am I saying others shouldn't.

Thank goodness I bought the fetal doppler... that thing has been SO reassuring lately. It's so nice to sit there and listen to the heartbeat and kicks with it. It somehow makes me feel so much better to know that the little heart is beating on and getting stronger.

On a lighter (or heavier... depending on how you look at it) note... GOOD LORD IS MY BUTT GETTING BIG! Geez. I can't help but sing baby got back when I look in the mirror... it's crazy. Where in the world is this coming from?! I still have not put on weight but yet my tummy, butt and boobs are getting huge! What?! How is this possible? My legs and arms aren't shrinking... so where is this fat coming from? Are my muscles shrinking? I've attached a picture (17 weeks) for you, but keep in mind, nightgowns are good at hiding booties. Oh, and yes, I now realize that my pj's are on backwards. No, I did not intend to do that. Yes, I have some pregnancy brain issues.